My Onion Life

Lately, God has been peeling away things just like the layers of an onion, in my heart, that I felt I was doing a good job of keeping under wraps. You know those things you rationalize, cause it's not as bad as someone else. Except, I kept being reminded that I'm not being compared to others but to God. He understands what has brought me to where I am, but He will not let me stay there forever, and just muddle around in what's comfortable for me. No growth happens unless you are stretched or pruned right?! Thankfully, God came along as a firm, gentle father, and just as I do with my boys, reminded me that my attitudes/actions were not what He expected from me and that He would walk me through each heart issue that needed to be corrected. There was not the 'get this right or else' feeling, but the gentle shepherding of a loving parent.
I have noticed that I often feel that I can rationalize certain attitudes due to circumstances or situations that have come my way. However, God is refining that belief in me. There certainly have been many difficult circumstances to cross my path, but God doesn't have exception clauses in his commands. He calls me to be obedient, no ifs, ands, or buts. He knows my heart and the pain that has entered. He also knows my desire to always live in a way that brings glory to Him, no matter the cost to me. I just keep walking moment by moment, falling often, but consistently striving to be more holy in my attitudes and actions. I know I will never fully meet His standard until I reach heaven, but I try. And, I keep myself available for frequent peeling, so that the bad spots or flaky skin of my onion is revealed.

LIFE UPDATE

We are continuing to settle into homeschooling. It has become pretty smooth-flowing. John has learned my boundaries, and I am becoming more aware of what works for him. I have also adjusted to keeping Titus and whatever other little ones may be around occupied/involved so that John can get things done. John also enjoys teaching things throughout the day to the younger ones. They often enjoy a good time of pretend as they imagine the play structure in the backyard is their fort and then proceed to protect themselves from the bad guys or hunt wild game!! Definitely all boys! Every stick is a spear, fishing pole, bow and arrow or whatever else is needed at the moment to complete the mission.

Brian's schedule has been fairly chaotic lately so we have enjoyed whatever time we do have with him. He was in a class for 2 weeks, which meant he was exhausted by the end of each day, and then had a exercise with his unit which took him away for about 5 days playing soldier. We were all glad to pick him up Thursday.